Why wait for Valentine’s Day each you to celebrate your love? Wouldn’t it be great to surprise your husband or significant other every day? If you want your husband to really have something to be grateful for on Valentine’s Day, the best way to do it is to treat him in a way that makes him happy you are his, so make your husband happy he married you!
Men tend to not really care about gifts, especially when they feel their woman is a present. They especially do not really care for gifts from a woman that makes him feel bad, doesn’t treat him that well, or doesn’t respect him. They also aren’t motivated to to express their own feelings (they tend to say things like “Well, it’s just a commercial holiday created by the candy and card companies to make money” when they are not inspired to celebrate and honor the relationship they have). You may have a terrific relationship, or you may not, but for the next few weeks I’m going to post some great ideas to make your husband happy he married you, starting with the best marriage advice ever:
Be kind to him. It sounds easy, but how often do you criticize him (even small things, like his choice in a shirt), nag him (you want him to fix something, he plans to, but you want it done *now*, and that’s all you talk about until he does it), or just do not think about him much (you make what the kids want for dinner- he can have some of it).
This is actually very important, because if you’ve ever been criticized, nagged, or treated like you or your desires aren’t that important, you know exactly how you feel about the person who treats you that way. Certainly not like they were a gift from G-d selected just for you as your partner in life. Some people have been treated this way by parents growing up, and tend felt misunderstood and unappreciated. They also tend to want to be faaarr away from that person, and look for others who appreciate and accept them as they are.
Do you really want to remind your husband of his mom when he was a teen? Do you really want your husband to want to be far away from you? To prefer to be with someone else that makes him feel good? Do you want him to wish he was spending romantic holidays with buddies, alone, in front of the tv, or with basically anyone but you? If you find your husband does not particularly enjoy your company, try being supersweet to him for the next five weeks (and longer). Supersweet doesn’t mean giving him fake compliments or buying him toys. It means letting him finish a sentence before you interrupt to tell him all the reasons you think he is wrong. It means caring that he hates macaroni and cheese, so making him a dinner he actually likes, even if you have to dirty two pots. It means treating him the way you did when you were dating him, and showed him he mattered to you.
If you don’t know where to start to make your husband happy he married you, try these for a week and see how they work out:
1. Smile each time you see him, as though you are really happy to see him (like when you were dating). Isn’t it great to see that people are sincerely happy you are around? If you’ve fallen into the habit of not acknowledging each other because you are so used to each other, start a new habit now. Say hi when you see him, ask how his day was when he gets home, say goodnight and kiss him before you go to sleep at night. Act as though you are happy you married him, to inspire the feeling in him that he is happy he married you.
2. Do something for him. If he loves flavored morning coffee, make it for him one morning as a surprise. If he enjoys coffee cakes, pop one into his lunch. If he comes home from work tired, offer him a back rub. Do one thing each day that is just for him.
3. No complaining. Women tend to talk to their husbands like they are girlfriends, and tell them all about their bad day, or what they heard about so and so, or worse (ever tell a man about your grooming habits- eek!)….try, for a while, to not say anything negative to him about anything. Don’t complain about his intrusive mom, the sarcastic neighbor, that your baby has diarrhea, etc. Let him come home from work to a positive atmosphere and a happy wife who isn’t waiting at the door to unload her bad feelings on him. Men take these things to heart, worry about you, and want to get involved and solve things for you, and are beyond frustrated when a woman just wants to complain to him and not let him fix anything. It’s bad for his heart (no wonder men tend to have such blood pressure problems). If you don’t want him to resolve something for you, skip mentioning it. Talk to a girlfriend about it if you are just looking to vent. And if you do want him to resolve something, let him at least walk through the door before you come at him with your requests.
4. Spend time with him. A big problem seems to be couple that pass eachother a few times a day like ships through the night, never really connecting for any amount of time. Kids, lessons, school, practice, work all get in the way. If you don’t see your spouse more than 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the afternoon during all the daylight hours, some things have to go. Try, for the next 5 weeks, to at least eat one meal a day together.
5. Speak well of your husband. Don’t bad mouth him to anyone. This is a great tip, because it will not only keep you from harping on his flaws (we all have flaws, but women tend to focus on their husband’s), but you also aren’t making him look bad in front of others. If his own wife, the woman who knows him better than anyone, doesn’t think well of him, why should anyone? If it gets back to him that you admire him and speak well of him, you’ll get extra loving points!