How Life Should Be
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating…
…and you finish off as an orgasm.” ~George Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008)
YES! Love it.
This is a Woody Allen quote.
um dude this is a woody allen quote not george carlin
Sounds exactly like F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.
Nope, it’s George Carlin…Woody Allen used it with a slight variation, but he ripped George Carlin off.
Woody Allen plagiarized George Carlin…he is mistakenly credited as the author is mass emails and chain letters that have gone viral, but credit is due to the late George Carling for this very funny joke.
George is dearly missed
Hahaha. Gotta love it.
Long live George Carlin! Great inspiration in my life!!
Awesome!!!
This is stupid, because if you get dying out of the way first,you can’t be in a retirement home and do all those other things. Cause you’d be dead. Unless you’re talking about being a zombie.
I cried when Carlin died.
No. you go backwards from death. think of it as a reverse timeline.
I think this is how it should be…
We will never forget you Carlin <3
George Carlin.. one of the smartest people to ever live
George Carlin was among our best philosophers. Most people think he was a comedian, even though, for the last several years of his life, all he did was get on stage and shout at us all that we were f*ing it all up.
Great quote indeed. “Sadly,” credit belongs to Sean Morey who performed it on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carsom in the 70’ies.
I loved this quote…Whoever made it was a genius!
You’ve been dead before, though. You were dead around the the year of 1646. Heck, you’ve been dead longer than you’ve been alive.
As it turns out, the quote is neither by Woody Allen nor George Carlin, but rather by Sean Morey, who wrote it in the 70’s and performed it on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show in the 80’s.
deepspirits.com/eyeopeners/living-life-backwards.php
It has been brought to our attention that the actual performer of the living life backwards piece is Sean Morey. Turns out Sean Morey wrote it in the 70’s and even performed it on “The Tonight Show” with Johnny Carson in the 80’s. The original performance was quoted as follows:
“I think the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work for forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement! You go to college, you do drugs, alcohol, you party, you have sex, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating…. You finish off as a gleam in somebody’s eye.”
I like the way he ended it 🙂
veve, your reply just blew my mind. You have been dead before! love it.
So..What happens if you fall in love during some part of your life, rather than growing old together, you become too young for anything to happen with relationships? Don’t quite like the idea of this really.
It’s actually neither. It was first performed by Sean Morey on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson
deepspirits.com/eyeopeners/living-life-backwards.php
*groan* this is not a George Carlin quote. First off, this isn’t his style of comedy, too nice. It might not have been Woody Allens originally, but it would seem to fit his style more.
Not a fan of the philosophy of the quote, but it is funny. There are just too many problems behind it. Instead of death being feared for example, orgasms would be feared. And children would no longer be babies but the grown adults that live backwards, the true adults would be the babies no matter how small. That’s because our life and how we look at a certain age isn’t meant to convenience us, it’s about our experiences, Life isn’t about death or dying it’s about time and how we spend it. So, no it wouldn’t be great to be 15 and fifteen years away from death. Because you would have the experience and prejudice of an elderly person in the body of a fifteen year old. That being said, the quote is pretty funny.
What they should do is make all drugs legal after a certain age. Like once ye hit 80 they just say, ‘fuck it, if you want to trip balls all Sunday on acid then you go for it pops. No skins off my ****.’
Click my name for a site full drug/drink related funny stories. Have yuor own? You can post it too.
Actually, this joke is mine.I told it to Jim the other day and he spread it around after work.He does that sometiimes.
This is my favorite comment ever 🙂
i laughed then my leg cramped and now i’m in alot of pain, i blame you for this. Lol jk. 😛
Excuse me. Sean Morey?
deepspirits.com/eyeopeners/living-life-backwards.php
Solved.
Seinfeld beat george to it about 10 years or so
so maybe there’s more to death 🙂
You definitely don’t party before you go to high school.
He does have a point. Being born in reverse would be awesome.