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A Love Notebook

One of the best pieces of marriage advice I ever received was to keep a “Love Notebook“, in which I would detail every single thing my wonderful husband does for me, every day.

Every little thing that was thoughtful or sweet, no matter how small, was to be documented. I thought it seemed a little extreme, but the woman who suggested I create a Love Notebook wouldn’t explain why. “Trust me, just do it” was all she would say.

Create a happy marriage love notebook

So I bought a little notepad and started to fill it up.

“Checked my gas gauge and filled my car with gas for me”.

“Picked up Chinese so I wouldn’t have to make dinner”.

“Got up early and made himself cereal so I could sleep in”.

Within a week my notepad became worn from use, and it was falling apart. I started to forget to put things down because there was just so much he did for me. And then it hit me:

Lesson One: My husband does a lot more for me than I ever really appreciated or noticed. When I started to pay attention, it was overwhelming.

I realized a little note pad wouldn’t cut it, so I bought a notebook, a pretty notebook with lined pages and a pink pen to write with. And I started over.

The Love Notebook started to become full very quickly again:

“Picked up my favorite gourmet teas”.

“Called from work just to tell me he loved me”.

“Passed on buying himself a new game so he could take me out instead”.

Eventually I came to the end of the book, I didn’t start a new one because I felt as though I would have a library of books in no timeโ€ฆjust not practical. Instead, I saved it in my top drawer, and anytime I became mad at him, I took it out and read it. I was reminded that this is a man who does so much for me, from big things to small, every single day. What I was mad about was probably insignificant in comparison (and it always was).

love notes for husband

Lesson Two: If I remember how wonderful he is when I’m mad, I realize I really don’t have much to be mad about.

The biggest thing the Love Notebook taught me was to notice relationships in general. I watch couples, I always ask questions when I meet new couples (“How did you meet? How did he propose?”) I’m just fascinated by relationships, courtship, love, romantic interactions. It’s fascinating, and I’m always learning. And noticing.

I noticed that a lot of women don’t really appreciate their husbands. We forget that he just carried our groceries to the car while we walked empty handed, and we ignore that he got up early to scrape the ice off our car, because we are focused on something he did wrong or that we didn’t like. We tend to focus on one negative thing instead of five positive.

Lesson Three: If we noticed the good stuff more, the things he does to show his love, we’d be much happier, and much less likely to look for things to be angry about.

I would encourage married women to create and keep a Love Notebook. It will open your eyes to the things your husband does that you don’t pay attention to. If you think your husband never does anything for you, this project is especially for you. I promise you will be amazed once you start to pay attention.

And when you appreciate him, he will do more for you because he wants to make you happy, and just wants to be appreciated for it.

Start one today, and save it. When you are upset with him, reread a bit to remember how much he does for you. Keep it as a memento of your love for years to come, and one day share it with your children. Tell them what a great man their dad is, and how he showed you he loved you in all these small ways.

(and if you are really good, keep going with more than one Love Notebook once you fill up the first one… a record of your love over the years. i think i’ll start a new one myself)

  • Oh my gosh I LOVE this idea. I am definitely going to start one!

  • Jenn

    What a great idea! I’m going to do this today since I’m feeling a little disgruntled.

  • Colleen

    What an amazing idea I love it!

  • Jennifer The Quirky Momma

    I think this is such a special, heartwarming idea. I think it would really put things into perspective for many people. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful idea!

  • Mellisa

    This is such a sweet idea!

  • How cute! I actually have a love notebook but I’ve never used it. Maybe I should!

  • Such a sweet idea.

  • That is SUCH a sweet idea! I think I’ll start one when we get married in March.

  • I love this idea. It’s simple but endearing I think I will be doing it myself. I have a ton of unused journals I can use!

  • Maryann

    this is a nice idea. But we rarely ever get angry with each other. We just don’t fight. We talk a lot.

  • Donna

    My husband does so much for me, and I do realize that sometimes in the day to day hecticness (not a word, I know), I don’t let him know how much I appreciate him. I should do this daily. Great idea!

  • This is such a great idea. I bet it would help couples that need to reconnect.

  • What a fabulous idea! I’m glad you followed her advice on that.

  • Megan @ That Neat Blog

    What a great idea! I document everything else, why not this?

  • Oh, I should do this. I’m uh, not feeling very friendly toward most of the time, maybe this would help!

  • What an awesome idea. I’ve never done this before but I think I’m going to start one.

  • This is such a great idea!

  • Billie

    This is seriously a good idea, thanks for sharing.

  • Thanks for the wonderful idea! I’m going to definitely try this. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Sheryl Mae

    Thanks for sharing this, Penelope! This would be a great help in our marriage life. I will surely start one today. -Sheryl

  • Penelope

    That is great, let me know how it goes! (i love to hear if the husband notices ๐Ÿ™‚ )

  • This is lovely but makes me a little sad. My husband doesn’t really do anything like that. He does support me when I want to do anything, so I have always appreciated that! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Penelope

    That is a big deal! There are men don’t support their wives doing things for themselves or that they enjoy.

  • That is really sweet – you are a lucky lady!

  • i’m never too good with writing things down but i certainly am good with making sure I thank him when he takes good care of me

  • Such a sweet idea!

  • this is such a great idea. I think it would help me but I honestly wish my husband would do the same even if this seems like a “girl” idea. Maybe get him a leather bound notebook or something? I don’t think I am appreciated as much as I should be :/

  • Penelope

    He probably won’t do it if you tell him to, unfortunately. Instead, he’ll see you getting him a notebook for this as nagging (men see unsolicited advice in a different way than women do, as nags instead of helpful suggestions). But if he sees you actively paying more attention to what he does for you, he may be inspired to do likewise and appreciate you more ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • I love this. I’m going to start a love notebook. I know how easy it is to forget all the little things my husband does for me and what a wonderful way to remind myself.

  • This is such a great idea.

  • I used to be so good and write everything down. Hubby actually mentioned I haven’t written him a poem – I need to find myself .. seriously.

  • What an awesome post. When I am mad at my husband, I try to think of the good things too, I wish I had a book to help remind me. That is a really neat idea.

  • yeah that actually makes a lot of sense. I’ll try this and see how it goes

  • This is such a fabulous idea! I think when our husband’s are so sweet to us, we begin to get spoiled and just crave more. This is a great way to appreciate what we have and all of the ways they show their love that we don’t realize.

  • That is really great advice Penelope.

  • I’ve never heard of doing this, but it sounds like a good idea.

  • I love this idea!!!!

  • Leilani

    This is such a great idea. I think I’m going to do this, too! What a great way to focus on the good things about your marriage.

  • This is such a sweet and wonderful idea.

  • This is such a fabulous idea with so many benefits. I think I’ll start one soon and encourage hubs to do the same so the appreciation can be mutual.