America knows AshLee Frazier as the gal who over-anxiously competed for Sean Lowe’s heart, believing from first sight that this was the man she would marry, her soul mate, the man who would fix the broken creature that she is. We all cringed as she insisted he was made for her, asked him to blind fold her and carry her around, and tearfully confessed she wasn’t totally whole because she was married before.
Dating AshLee seems like it would be more difficult than walking on egg shells and keeping them intact, yet she has a (very small but loyal) fan base that hopes she will be the next bachelorette. Why I think it’s a very, very bad idea for AshLee Frazier to be the next Bachelorette, or to get married at all, for that matter, anytime soon:
1. She falls in love with men before she has a clue who they even are and whether they are a fit for her, and can’t fathom that if she feels this way, they might not feel the same. Can you imagine her doing this with 25 men? Can you imagine her analyzing each of those “relationships” ad nauseum, in her nasally voice, for an entire season? Me either. Beyond boring and annoying.
2. AshLee Frazier sees herself as broken, and sees it as a man’s job to fix her and make her “whole”. She was married at 17, seems to be at war with herself over how lovable she is because her bio parents deserted her, fights with her adoptive parents, and bought horrible breast implants to be more appealing. She will not, in any way, shape, or form, be able to choose the right man, or be a good wife for the right man, until she can start focusing on what she has to offer others, rather than how she was wronged, needs to be “fixed”, or how others can complete her because of something done to her almost 30 years ago.
3. She imagines her feelings are everyone’s feelings, and can’t separate her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives from reality. It just isn’t possible, in her mind, that if she was utterly obsessed with Sean, that he didn’t feel the same way back. If she kept saying it and he didn’t tell her he didn’t reciprocate, then obviously he did. If she was able to fall in love with a man in less than a month, a man who was dating over a dozen other women, then that means it was because she was the one, and it wasn’t possible that he was getting close to the other women, developing relationships with them, etc. It was only what she could see that was real.
4. She throws around the word character like a sledge hammer, but she gossips, judges, and accuses, and frankly, telling others they have no character doesn’t mean you do. On the first night, AshLee snidely told Tierra “You didn’t get the first impression rose, you just got the first rose. We all got the first rose”. She later insisted she “sees through” Tierra when she took a real dive down the stairs and was hurt (seeing it as a ruse to get attention from Sean). She proclaimed Sean had integrity because he took the two ill young ladies on their date, even though I’m betting AshLee would have preferred they weren’t there, and she later proclaimed with equal vehemence that Sean was “like a frat boy” because he dated 25 women at once (AshLee apparently never saw the show before, or else she felt he should have sent everyone home once he met her, and just dropped down on his knee and proposed- cuckoo, cuckoo).
5. She imagines things (read: she lies). She imagined her time with Sean was fun-filled and laughter-filled, despite the fact the rest of us (and Sean) saw tears, serious insecurities and jealousy, a lot of tenseness, weird “letting go of control” exercises, and the opposite of fun and laughter. She imagined he told her (twice) that he felt “nothing” for the other women, and frankly I think we all have a hard time believing that one. It’s more likely that, just like #3 above, AshLee sees and hears what she wants to see and hear, and projects it onto others by putting words and thoughts on other people that didn’t originate from them.
What do you think? Who was your choice for Bachelorette? Who do you hope Sean chooses?
I don’t agree at all. I think AshLee was open, honest and geniune. I really liked her. She had a hard life and overcame a lot of things but came out like a rose.
Just because she overcame a lot, doesn’t mean she is ready to be in a mature relationship. She has a lot of work to do on herself first before she can be a quality mate for a quality man, starting with getting over seeing herself as broken and needing a man to fix her. And she may have been open, but she expected too much from a man who was still dating other women- she seemed to be disappointed that he had the nerve to get close to and kiss others, when that is the reality of the show. The things she did (the blind fold “trust” exercise, for example) should have waited until Sean committed to her, not while he was still making out with other women…totally inappropriate timing, and I can’t help but think she did it to manipulate more intimacy between them (waaayy too soon in their relationship- they only knew each other 3 or 4 weeks at that point).
This doesn’t mean she is a bad person, but she is not ready to be a mature, strong wife and mother. A woman ready to take on those responsibilities needs to be very strong and sensible, not needy and unrealistic.