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A Good Man Is Hard To Find, Not Hard To Keep #Marriage

A good man is hard to find, but easy to keep. This doesn’t mean that we can treat a decent man any old way because he’ll just tolerate it. Everyone has a breaking point, and considering how basic and few a good man’s needs are, it’s really not that hard to keep him happy and home.

What men need, according to men, is to be accepted as he is, appreciated for what he does, and respected by his family. If he is a good man, these aren’t hard to give him, and you should if you were lucky enough to find a good man. Men also want an affectionate wife, and to be fed, so they don’t become resentful and grumpy. If you are a working wife, it doesn’t matter if the meals aren’t home-cooked, as long as the family is eating well (take-out is fine on busy days). If there is hot tasty food on a plate and the wife isn’t nagging him, a decent man is generally very happy to be home with the people he loves most.

If your husband doesn’t cheat, drink, expect you to support him while he pursues ridiculous endeavors, and is a good dad to your children, you can already consider yourself in the minority, because a lot of women choose to marry questionable men. Good men are out there but they aren’t always easy to find and get. If you got a decent man, treat him well!

good man is hard to find

A Good Man Is Hard To Find

A strange fact of life is that some women stay with or pursue men that are pretty horrible, whether he cheats, lies, sponges off of her, whatever, and she’ll forgive him forever as long as he comes around sometimes, yet those same women will nitpick decent men endlessly over something trivial (because she knows he won’t run off). If she isn’t distracted by insults or wondering where he is, she focuses on some inane thing, harps on it, and basically starts the process of driving him away. She can’t just focus on how lucky she is to have a good husband and father to her children.

But Easy To Keep

If you picked a good man, he’ll be happy to stick around. If you have children with him, he wants to stick around. Don’t make it hard for him. Just remember to let him know you appreciate him, show him respect (and teach your children to respect him too), give him smooches, and try to let the small things slide (a lot, because in the long run it’s better to have a happy home and the father of your kids home to support and protect all of you then it is to have your way all the time). Get a zen attitude about life- accept your husband’s foibles, because we all have them, and it’s not fun to be uptight and annoyingly naggy, and it’s really not fun to get the wrinkles or pinched face that accompany it. If you need something to focus on, get a hobby. Changing a man isn’t a hobby.

The Happy Marriage Monday rules…you have to follow these rules every Monday!

1. You can not be mean to your spouse, speak harshly to or criticize your spouse, neglect your spouse, roll your eyes at your spouse, or in any way interact negatively with your spouse, from sun up ’til sun down.
2. You must greet your spouse sweetly, with a smile and kisses hello and goodbye, and ask about his or her day. You must listen to their answer before interrupting or talking about yourself.
3. You can not speak badly about your spouse in his or her absence, to anyone.

  • Great post. I have the most amazing man ever. We treat each other with respect. He helps me, I help him. Many of our friends not so. Fighting over trivial stuff all the time, neither one or the other helping so it is never ending with arguments. I’m so glad I found the most amazing husband and will love him forever.

  • Krystal

    I have a good guy 🙂 & I’m holding onto him. I’ve had ugh less than good guys in the past and I’m soooo glad I didn’t stay. 3 cheers for the good guys. They might be harder to find, but they are worth it 🙂

  • I love this post, Penelope!

    I’ve been making more of an effort and things have better 😉

  • Kelly

    I love my husband and know he treats me very well! I have several friends that have recently got divorced and when they talk about their exes it doesn’t sound anything like my husband and for that, I’m grateful.

  • Monique

    Changing a man isn’t a hobby.

  • Shop with Me Mama (Kim)

    I have a great hubby too! He is wonderful, supportive and everything I ever wanted 🙂

  • Awesome post! Well written and valid points! I have a man who doesn’t need anything, even affection, but I need affection… I think sometimes I am more like the typical “male” and he’s more like the “typical” “female” and I don’t mean this rudely at all, simply that I am not used to a man who has very little needs when I have so many of my own. I do appreciate all his positive qualities though, just wish I didn’t have to financially support him and the kids 😉 It’s a lot to do that alone but not alone … make any sense? I do love love this post though.

  • Annie @ Mama Dweeb

    Another dead on post Penelope! this post reminds me of the book “love and respect” it is amazing!! Basically, women want to be loved and men need to be respected. You touched on that here and it is sooo true. I have an amazing man and I pray for him and myself every day. I pray that I will stop myself before I open my mouth and run him away.

  • HilLesha

    I love this post! You give wonderful advice. 🙂