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I Used To Be THAT Single Girl (And Now I’m THAT Parent)

When I was single, I would go about my care-free, single life business, noticing parents with uncontrollable kids out of the corner of my eye. I would judge moms whose two year old was having a tantrum, thinking if she did x, y, z she’d have perfectly behaved children, and what the heck is wrong with her for not figuring this out herself? I knew I’d be the perfect mom, with the perfect kids, and while I didn’t say anything to moms who yelled at or ignored their little bundles of terror, I thought some pretty mean stuff.

Now I have two boys, and little man has terrible two tantrums. Not often, but often enough that I realized his bursts of independence during which he is an unpredictable shriek machine are not only common for children his age, but that x, y, and z do not work with toddlers in the midst of a tantrum. You can’t reason with them, bribe them, hug them, or tickle them out of it. You just have to let it pass (even in public) because a pouty two year old who wants something, doesn’t understand something, can’t communicate something, or can’t do something is just frustrated and until he tires out of letting you know just how upset he is by his lack of free will, there is nothing you can do (except maybe hide out from the poison dart looks other folks are shooting at you).

So I formally apologize to all the moms I’ve judged when I was single and childless. I didn’t know better than you. I couldn’t have done it better. If anything, I see now that you did a great job and can teach me a thing or two any day of the week (and I would love it if you did… please?).




  • Billie

    That’s a determined face!

  • Donna

    I babysat every summer and any holidays there wasn’t school from the time I was 12 till I turned 18, and I think because of this, I never judged parents, before I became one myself. I realized what it was like taking care of kids. It also made me never want kids. I changed my mind, obviously, but I was 38 when I had my son. 🙂

  • I think many of us used to be that single person. It’s part of the humbling experience of being a parent. We are in a pretty nasty 3 yo stage right now… here is hoping it gets better soon!

  • I’m glad I got to meet him being sweet as pie! 🙂 But yes you just have to let them do their thing when they are like that.

  • As a “judgemental single” myself (I’m married actually but who’s counting) my poison thought of choice is less about how much better I would do (because let’s be real, folks) and more disdain that people don’t keep their children to themselves.

    Awesome meeting you at BlogHer, by the way!

  • Oh, how many times did I shoot a nasty look at some poor mother juggling screaming babies, or make a snide remark about her parenting skills, because I was THAT single person and then some. We always said when we had kids we wouldn’t take them in public until we were SURE they would behave.
    I think we more or less stuck to that, but then, we only have the one and what a shy soft-spoken thing she has always been. I imagine, that sometime in the future, Karma will give me a giant kick in the butt for all those snide comments I made and dirty looks I gave. And I will totally deserve it. LOL

  • Isn’t that the truth. I love the photo great job!

  • Isn’t that the truth?!? I was the same until I had children.

  • Hahaha… SOOO true. We knew so much when we were young, single, and without kids. =)

  • LOL! Well luckily Goo didn’t have those tantrums but Kay does. I give her this eye and she just gets up and gets some act right now as for her mama…not so lucky. LOL! It will get better.
    Thinking for fun you should just lay in the floor and scream and yell when he doesn’t do something you want him to do … that will probably scare the foolishness out of him. LOL!

  • You really just have to do the best you can. I also have an incredibly strong willed, stubborn child and I’m forever researching ways to more effectively parent and really figure things out. I feel so lost sometimes.

  • I really put my foot in my mouth before I had my son and I feel so embarrassed when I think of the things I said.

  • Jenn

    Thank goodness Sweet T inherited both our passive, non-controversial natures. I don’t know what I’d do with a strong-willed child! Pray that we luck out with #2 too.

  • Been there. It’s amazing how children will change the way you view others.

  • Wonderful post and so true for myself too! Those same single gals will have their day of realization as well. It’s part of the life cycle I suppose.

  • Amanda

    I am soooo guilty of this same thing! It’s hard to understand until you have one of your own…

  • It’s amazing how you change when you have kids of your own isn’t it? I’ve been there and I quickly learned. 🙂 Your little guy is too cute!

  • I think a lot of us thought that way before we became parents. If we had only known…

  • Penelope

    Awesome meeting you too! I am publishing your “half” pic soon 🙂