• Raising Boys

  • In The Kitchen

  • Family Travels

It’s Fun Being a Girl! How To Stop Acting Like One Of The Guys

For some women, the idea of being feminine after a lifetime of being an independant, no-nonsense gal who takes care of everything is quite a feat. Women are often raised to be “one of the guys”, told it’s impractical to waste time on your looks, or you were made to feel guilty for not wanting to be a work horse because women before you fought for equality.

penelope guzman walking-2

On the other hand, maybe you feel like you are missing out on something. Maybe you’d like to know why, despite having so much going for you, you are still single, or, if you are married, why your husband often treats you like a coworker instead of his girlfriend. Maybe you’d like be more to your family than a second paycheck.

The fact is, feminine women appeal to men and feminine women get more from men. Looking and acting like a woman results in a being that is appealing and enchanting to males, the type of woman that has an easier life because men want to do things for her. It’s easy to read suggestions on how to be more feminine, but actually doing totally new things is more difficult. Becoming more feminine is not like turning on a light switch, but a journey of small changes until you become the woman you want to be.

So what do men find attractive and feminine? It helps if you have a role model you can discreetly study, but whether or not you do, try these steps out for a day at a time and practice them until they becomes second nature:

love quotes

Simple Tips to Be More Feminine

♥ Allow yourself to depend on men. If a man offers his arm to escort you, take it. If a man offers to pay for dinner, let him. Do not insist on paying him back to be “fair”. Don’t worry about putting him out. Men want to do nice things for their women, but are often chastised by “modern” women for holding a door open. It may be ackward at first, but you’ll get used to it, and soon come to see it as normal.

♥ Do not compete with men socially. Don’t brag that you can beat your guy at arm wrestling, that you can fix your own flat tire, that you make more money than your husband. It diminishes a man’s interest in you- he does not need his weak areas rubbed in his face. How would that make you more appealing? Men don’t fall in love with women because they can fix a flat tire.

♥ Don’t be afraid to show emotions like fear, timidity, sweetness, tenderness, etc, and avoid anyone who mocks you or tries to harden you. If a nasty neighbor is harassing you, let your husband help. Don’t march off into the night alone because you are ashamed to say you are afraid, and don’t take risks at the urging of others if you have doubts. Trust your instinct. Your boss may not care that you have to work alone late at night, but a feminine woman puts her safety ahead of being a people-pleaser, so be willing to lose a job, man, or friend that does not appreciate you enough to regard your safety.

sunset couple

♥ Don’t be a doormat or give up your comfort for a man’s comfort. A gentleman allows himself to be uncomfortable for his woman. Let him do this for you, and don’t feel bad about it. A woman is more delicate, and a man is build to handle discomforts better. Allow him to give up his seat for you, carry your heavy packages, give you his jacket.

♥ Don’t do work that should be done by your man. If your husband forgets or is simply to lazy to take out the garbage or mow the lawn, don’t pick up the slack for him, or anyone for that matter. Do not let others be lazy or rude at your expense, or impose on you. You’ll overburden yourself, you will become resentful, and that isn’t feminine. A simple, firm “no” is enough. People will respect you when they trust your “no” to be final.

♥ Don’t push others around or look for weakness in others to take advantage of. This is bothunfeminine and unkind. Do not mistreat service workers (waitresses, cashiers, etc) or threaten to report them if they don’t do everything you say. They may be tired, overworked, had a bad day- they are human beings trying to make a living. A classy woman treats everyone with dignity.

♥ Do not tell others what to do. If a man asks your opinion, you can give it, but don’t harp on the subject or belittle him for having made bad choices. If he doesn’t ask your opinion, he doesn’t want it, so don’t offer it (men call that “nagging”).

♥ A feminine woman not only accepts a man’s care and protection, but appreciates it. Show him gratitude when he puts on your coat, washes your car, etc Say please and thank you and don’t apologize a million times while you talk. A feminine woman has poise and manners.

♥ Do things that you enjoy and bring our your feminine side. Cuddle your children and pets. Take time to fix your hair, get a pedicure, or a massage. Drink tea while reading an enjoyable book. Go for a walk through a beautiful park with a friend. Live life slower, and enjoy it more.

♥ If your life is too hectic and you can’t enjoy it, if you find you are irritable and yelling at your children or husband, you are too busy. Take things off your plate. Don’t feel guilty. It’s more important that you are relaxed and happy and good to your family then you please every last person who wants something from you. Rushing through life is no way to live. Your family deserves better from you and you deserve better from yourself.



  • BarbRyan

    “I’ve posted this before but it bears mentioning again…do not pretend to be brave when you are afraid.”

    This is a big challenge for me. I have several chronic illnesses and when I have flare ups, I find it hard to open up and accept/ask for help for fear of being seen as weak or unworthy. Now, I wonder if it just creates a wall between me and my loved ones… Thank you for such a thoughtful and interesting post.

    Blessings,
    BarbaraRyan

  • Lady-in-the-Making

    I am 42 years old and this post refreshed me.

    I work with several men and have become “one of the guys”.

    Thank you for this and I look forward to your future posts. You are very wise for a young woman.

  • Laura

    Thank you for this timely instruction. In your future tips, would you mind addressing “how to wear skirts in cold weather”? I loved wearing skirts through the spring and summer. I felt more feminine and I think it blessed my husband, too. Now that the cooler weather is rolling in, I find myself in cords and jeans more often than not. Have you discovered any fabulous “how to survive” tips? 😉

  • Cristina M.

    Loved your post. These are very wise words.

  • Tracy

    Very good reminders!

  • Michelle

    Hello, Penelope! I just came across your blog for the first time through Crissy's Blog Design site.

    I really enjoyed this article. I wrote a post titled "When Modesty Is Secondary" some time ago which is about taking time to look nice for our husbands.

    This whole website is positively "feminine!"

    Great post, Penelope!

  • Erin McLaughlin

    I love feminine women. I agree with most of your points. But as a man, nothing makes a woman look more feminine than a nice dress. If I am with my girl on a date, I don’t want someone in jeans. A man feels more manly if his girl looks and acts feminine and that does mean wearing more skirts and dresses.

  • Erin McLaughlin

    It says don’t brag about beating your man in arm wrestling. I don’t think a girl who can do that is feminine to begin with.