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Marriage Isn’t Perfect {Guest Post}

Your wedding was a storybook affair. Hair piled high and dressed in whitest white, your groom was handsome, the cake to die for, and your vows romantic. Fast forward three years and the dress is sealed in a box, the cake seems to have settled on your midriff, and your husband, while still handsome, has a habit of leaving dirty dishes in the sink overnight that makes your right eye twitch. Building a life together involves more than the butterflies of attraction, it involves hard work, a steel spine, and sure, even unconditional love.

Money problems are often cited as the number one marriage crumbler. Money is never easy, but it becomes an especially sensitive subject if one spouse earns considerably more than the other. It is easy for money or lack thereof to inform our values of self-worth. Under-earning spouses might be afraid to ask for money in amounts they need to efficiently run the household. Well-earning spouses might feel taken advantage of if money gets overspent.

While many arguments stem over cashflow, even more resentments may breed below the surface if money matters are not discussed promptly and honestly. Quite simply put, to not let money get between you and the love of your life, take the time to talk about it together. Build action plans for investment and savings. Be open and honest about what each other think is fair budgeting of funds. Work together to investigate better mortgage rates or find savings on home energy by using great resources like www.shopelectricityratestexas.com.

Finally, if the money is available, determine individual allowances for each of you that can be spent free of. “You spent money on what?” glares. We all need a little fun and freedom, sometimes a new pair of cowboy boots or fishing trip are just what it takes to keep smiling at each other.

Take care of your health and take care of the health of your partner. You vowed to stay together forever, make that forever longer and healthier by encouraging your husband to develop healthy habits and maintain good habits yourself. Many couples complain of weight gain, but eating well and exercising means more than fitting in your old skinny jeans. Make meals together, hit the gym or go for long walks, and take notice when your partner looks good. Positive encouragement for good habits works much better than pointing out an extra pooch.

Weather storms. No matter how well you plan bad things do happen to good people. Parents fall ill. Layoffs happen. Be willing to act as a support beam for your spouse through tough times. In being a support beam, remember to be strong for yourself as well. For a relationship to not fall apart under the weight of hard circumstances, both partners must retain their identities and take time to breathe. While demanding circumstances often set us into warrior mode, it is important to not lose ourselves in the fixing process. Stand up for yourself and care for your health and mental well-being to keep your marriage strong.

Don’t let reality chip away at your fairytale romance, happy ending depend on the hard work of a couple to communicate, share, and grow together.