• Raising Boys

  • In The Kitchen

  • Family Travels

How to Help Your Energetic or Distracted Child Focus

You’ve probably lost count of the times you have given your son a simple command, like “Go clean your room,” only to find him (minutes later) jumping on his bed, surrounded by toys. Obviously no cleaning has occurred. Instead, like every time before, he got sidetracked. Distracted.

It’s challenging to help our energetic, easily distracted, or impulsive children focus. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and frustrated, especially when you find yourself repeating requests and redirecting a thousand times each day.

It may feel like your child will never learn to focus! It’s more challenging for some children than others. You can play an important role in helping your child succeed. Providing opportunities and responding with patience and empathy, your child will feel more confident in their ability to stay on track.

energetic distracted child help focus

Here are 9 tips to help your energetic or distracted child focus:

1. Let them move: Some children learn best when they are in motion. Instead of fighting against this by forcing them to “sit still,” give them plenty of appropriate options for movement: small fidget toys, trampolines, balance balls, standing work stations, frequent breaks from long or tedious tasks.

2. Explain directions simply: Your child may only hear the very beginning or the very last thing you say. Give short, to-the-point reminders and redirection, focusing on the most important words. “Hold my hand” or “Shoes!” work better than long lectures, explanations or rationalizing.

3. Break it down: Children can feel overwhelmed by multi-step instructions. If you need to give a command that requires a number of steps, make it easier for them to comply by giving them one or two items at a time. Once the first step is complete, then you can give the next task.

4. Repeat after me: Help your child process the information by requesting that they repeat your request back to you. Have your child stop what they are doing and focus on you. Some children may also benefit from writing the task on a piece of paper to process the information differently.

5. Limit distractions: Almost anything can be a distraction for some kids. Turn off the TV, limit the number of toys available, have only one page of homework on the table at a time. Keep in mind, though, some children may do better with white noise than complete silence.

6. Use a timer: Children who are easily distracted often lose track of time. Provide your child with concrete limits and boundaries using a timer to signal “time’s up” or “time to move to the next activity.” During mundane or monotonous activities, set a timer for their next movement break.

7. Create visuals: Write or draw frequently used schedules and routines. Break down the steps into easily completed tasks. When your child gets off track, redirect their attention to the visual chart to help them figure out what else is left to complete or what needs to be done next.

8. Brainstorm together: As your child grows, they may become more aware of what works best or what they prefer. Problem solve as a team, allow your child’s suggestions to be considered and give them a try. Go back to brainstorming if it doesn’t work as planned.

9. Encourage the struggle: Many children who have difficulty focusing also have low self-esteem. They want to stay focused but often cannot. Provide positive feedback when they stay on task and encouragement when they are discouraged: “You’re learning everyday!” or “You’ll get it next time!”

Your child can learn to be more focused and feel less distracted

But, it won’t happen overnight. It requires a lot of practice and patience…both from you and your child.

You do not have to do this alone! If your child seems to struggle with impulsivity or being easily distracted, more than what would be typical for their age, seek help from a mental health professional. Also visit Nicole Schwarz at Imperfect Families, the author of this wonderful guest post, who can provide you with resources, suggestions, and support as you find strategies and techniques that work for your child.

Please read my favorite parenting books for more help:

The Gentle Parent by L R Knost – learn how to parent with connection, communication, and cooperation

Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne – to raise calmer, happier, more secure children

Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys by Stephen James – because energetic, adventurous, curious children are a great thing

The Five Love Languages of Children: The Secret of Loving Children Effectively by Gary Chapman – to make sure your child feels loved in the way they personally understand love




  • Stacie

    These are great tips. I have a child who is always distracted, and I have to continually have to help her refocus.

  • Jess C

    These are great tips! My nephew has problems focusing so I’ll be directing his mum to this post.

  • Robin

    My little man has major focus issues. We really have to work hard with him,

  • Jeanine

    This is great. I have a few very energetic kiddos and I always have to work with them and get them to be patient, and just focus!

  • Catherine S

    These are great tips. When my son was little we would give him one task at a time. That seemed to work better for him.

  • Meagan

    Channeling a distracted child can be so frustrating. Love your idea of having them repeat after me.

  • Liz

    These are some really helpful ideas. It was hard to get my kids to focus on uninteresting subjects.

  • Debbie Denny

    Being consistent is key. Removing distractions is great

  • Kimberly M.

    My grandson has problems focusing. These are some great tips. Thank you. I am going to show these to his parents and see what if they will follow through with them.

  • Tamara

    Great recommendations!
    I use the “shoes” and timer a lot.

    When ever applicable I use analogies to sports that he likes. When I don’t want any whining I tell him I am the ice hockey ref. He knows full well that arguing with the ref results in a penalty 😉