Do You Make Your Husband Happy To Come Home?

I was talking to a friend recently who told me her husband comes home from work late every day, and not because he is staying late to work. Some days he goes to the gym. Some days he hits a few bars with some co-workers. Some days he stays at work to work on projects he used to work on from home. Her husband just doesn’t want to come back home.

Is he a bad guy? Nope, he’s a terrific guy. My friend confided that home life has been pretty miserable- lots of fighting and arguing over nonsense- and basically her unhappy husband doesn’t want to come home to a warzone every day. They are having marriage problems and even though her relationship with her husband is what she cherishes most, she needs help to have a happier marriage.

true love

So the experts weighed in (and by experts, I mean my group of women friends who have been happily married for many, many years). Their advice is like Christian marriage counseling because they speak from experience and give advice from both a Biblical and practical point of view.

Their happy marriage tips:

Make your husband happy to come home. When your husband comes through the door, how is he welcomed? Do you come to the door to greet him hello with a smile and a kiss? This may sound like retro marriage advice, but it’s actually a basic human need for all of us to feel loved by those we care about. What is better than seeing the face of the person you love break into a smile of joy when they see you?

When your husband comes home, don’t wait at the door with a list of chores, complaints about his mother, or ready to continue the argument you didn’t finish at breakfast. Seriously, he won’t want to come home. He’ll feel like he has to brace himself every time he opens the door. Obviously there are times when you have something important to tell him that can’t wait, but this is the exception. Most days, there is no reason to make his homecoming anything other than something he looks forward to all day. Seeing a happy wife and his precious kids excited to see him would make a good man look forward to coming home.

Make your husband happy to be home. What’s it like being in your home? Can your husband come home and expect to be able to rest after a hard day’s work, or does he fight with his children for the remote, eat heated up leftovers every day, and trip over shopping bags just crossing a room that never seem to be put away? If your husband works hard all day to provide for the family, he should be respected for this, and allowed downtime when he gets home. He shouldn’t wish he were somewhere else where he could get some peace and quiet, and respect.

If you both work, you both need to be able to relax when you get home. Make the evenings a time when the family is together, sharing a meal, and enjoying being together. No drama, no unnecessary stress. He should want to be home. If he doesn’t, and he’s a decent guy, then something at home makes him want to stay at work extra or go to the gym every day instead of working out at home. He probably just wants some peace and quiet, and if he gets it, he’ll likely be home much sooner.

You may already have a warm, welcoming home that your husband can’t wait to get home to. It usually doesn’t matter if the house is spotless, if he has to take out the garbage, or any of those small things, as long as he has a family that is genuinely happy to see him and lets him relax. Doesn’t take much; most men are simple like that (it’s us women that tend to be super complicated) and these are a great start to getting a happy husband.

Here are the Happy Marriage meme rules:
1. You can not be mean to your spouse, speak harshly to or criticize your spouse, neglect your spouse, roll your eyes at your spouse, or in any way interact negatively with your spouse, from sun up ’til sun down.
2. You must greet your spouse sweetly, with a smile and kisses hello and goodbye, and ask about his or her day. You must listen to their answer before interrupting or talking about yourself.
3. You may make your spouse their favorite dinner, bring them flowers, or take them out to dinner (but not mandatory every week).

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  • Unhappy Dad

    I work a very demanding job so my wife can be a full time mom. After 12 hours of being a human punching bag, I desperately need sanctuary. She is happy to see me but it is because the baby sitter just walked in the door. The time can be very unpleasant because she is tired and frustrated with the children. It breaks my heart to see her be rough with a toddler or consistently speak with a forked tong to a 3rd grader. By 9pm our children are sleeping so I can either cook something healthy for myself or eat reheated frozen dinners…by myself. I eat dinner quickly because I still have to repair/maintain the home/vehicles and balance the books that are heavily burdened with unnecessary spending from the day. I don’t particularly enjoy my job but I’ll stay late, or go to the gym, or the store, or just about anywhere to not have to go do such a den of disharmony. On weekends, I’m longing to go back to work by about 7:30 am on Saturday. Actually I’m not longing for work, just the long commute. Time driving in the car has become my only peaceful time. I’m trying to be patient and supportive but I can’t help but feel quite miserable.ReplyCancel

    • Penelope

      The 3rd grader should be in school, so she only has the toddler with her- not too overwhelming. Does she need a break, maybe a babysitter two hours a week during the day so she can spend some time just relaxing? Would she be offended if you handed her a book like “The Proper Care and Feeding Of Husbands”? Sometimes women just need a little wake up call that their husband isn’t happy so it doesn’t go to far and you get to a point where neither wants to be in the marriage (and she can’t say then that you never even told her).

      I would also be upset that she was speaking to the children so harshly, they remember these things and are only young one.ReplyCancel