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Five Signs Of A Good #Marriage

You’ve seen them- couples that seem to actually like each other, in addition to loving each other. Couples that laugh together, enjoy doing things together, and seem relaxed together. They seem to have the secrets of a good marriage and how to make a relationship strong, but if you take a look at what what everyone in a good relationship has in common, it’s probably not so secret.

true love

So what makes these great couples so special and different?

1. They have each other’s back. If you let someone criticize your spouse, it’s bad enough. Let him find out about it, and he will not only feel let down by you, but think you feel the same way. Don’t let anyone attack, belittle, or criticize the person you chose. Defend them, protect them, and cut off anyone who doesn’t get it. Better to lose a “friend” than hurt your spouse, especially if you want to make your relationship last.

2. They talk to each other first. If you’re the type that accepts invitations or makes plans without talking to your spouse first, you’re the type that isn’t communicating. Before making big purchases, plans, or answering questions that affect you both, you should talk. If someone wants an answer now, too bad. The answer is you don’t have an answer until you talk to your spouse. It will make you both feel stronger in your marriage to know the other won’t make big decisions without consulting each other and getting the input and feelings of both on the table. It doesn’t matter if your husband jokingly says you can make all those decisions. You can, but he’ll feel good knowing you cared about his opinion before making it.

3. They understand each other. You hate to clean bathrooms and love to watch the Bachelorette, so he cleans the bathroom and leaves you alone Monday nights. He hates to worry about etiquette and loves to drinks orange soda all day, so you rsvp for everything, send out the thank you cards, and make sure the fridge is always stocked with his favorite beverage. You do what the other hates, and vice versa. You do what the other loves to have done for them, and vice versa. You get each other’s quirks, annoyance, pet peeves, and you harmoniously work together for a good marriage.

4. They accept each other. Your husband loves orange soda and your mom thinks it’s strange. So does his. That’s why he avoid them. You don’t bug him about it and he loves to be around you. Or you do bug him about it, and then wonder why he wants to work out at the gym at work instead of at home. If your husband accepts that you never lost the last five pounds after having kids because he loves you anyway, and never makes you feel bad about your quirks or “flaws”, he deserves the same respect. If you found someone who loves and accepts you as you are, you found a winner, and nothing makes you feel better in a relationship than feeling like someone sees you as you are and loves what they see.

5. They put the other first. Sure there are things you both want, but sometimes in life you have to make a choice. A choice means you have to pick between two things, and not get both. When you always pick the thing that benefits you, and find your partner is always looking out for their own best interest, you have a problem. If you both always put the other person first, you have a solution. Your needs will always be met, because your partner is meeting them, and they have the peace of mind in knowing you will do likewise for them.

It sounds simple, but the recipe for a good, happy marriage, assuming you picked a decent human being, is that you treat each other lovingly, respectfully, and with consideration. If you are having problems and want to save your marriage before things go too far in the wrong direction, think about how you treat your partner (not only how they treat you) and fix it. Usually, working on yourself inspires your spouse to do likewise in response.

  • Jessica

    Ha ha!! I love this. Thanks for sharing.ReplyCancel

  • Shana Putnam

    What a great post. I strive to do these most of the time. I am a work in progress as I think we all are. Love your blogging style lately too!!ReplyCancel

  • All points are right on. ♥ReplyCancel

  • 1stopmom

    These are great signs. My husband and I definitely accept each other. His obsession with fishing and my obsession with video games and all things bacon, lol.ReplyCancel

  • Excellent post. My husband and I do all of this and much more!ReplyCancel

  • HilLesha

    Inspiring post! :)ReplyCancel

  • Kim

    Good points! For me and my husband, a sense of humor is an absolute must!ReplyCancel

  • There’s a lot of wisdom and truth in here, Penelope! Thank you!ReplyCancel

  • Nina B

    Hey there! These are GREAT tips! I’ve been married 10 years and we have three kids. I for sure think our marriage is strong. I’d say my #1 tip (all related to yours, especially #5) is to you remember the two of you are a team–you’re on the same side, always.ReplyCancel

  • I like this alot!! ReplyCancel

  • Marianna @ Green Mama's Pad

    This is such a great post. Thank you for sharing!ReplyCancel

  • Kristen @ Curious Cora

    Maybe the sister wives should read this :) Thanks for stopping by, Im now following you!ReplyCancel

  • zeemaid

    All excellent points. Too often we take each other for granted. It’s also a good reminder that each of us needs to be a little more giving. :)ReplyCancel

  • Janessa

    I accept my hub’s addiction to World of Warcraft and he doesn’t complain when I talk about him on my blog…it’s a good arrangement. :)ReplyCancel

  • Karen@WaistingTime

    You have a great eclectic mix of post here. My youngest, now 18, was born the day before Thanksgiving!ReplyCancel

  • Let us know if you try any of the recipes how they turn out! Love your blog … purple’s my favorite color! Your post on marriage reminded me of something I heard on the radio today… in a study of M&Ms (Married and Miserable), five years later, half had divorced and were still miserable. The one who stayed together generally reported being happier. Interesting, I thought!ReplyCancel

  • great list, and so true, number 1 was hard for my hubby and I because of how we were raised, not that we let people talk bad about each other, but we both had a bad habit of picking on each other around other people, as soon as we started working on that things got a lot better.ReplyCancel

  • Marilenn

    I’m newly married myself. Great advice!ReplyCancel

  • Great article. Made me feel really good about the person I chose to live with. :-)ReplyCancel

  • Great post. Thanks for sharing.ReplyCancel

  • Lanita

    I would add: Making each other laugh.ReplyCancel

  • Tammy

    Wise words :) I’m happy to say my husband is still my best friend after almost 17 years of marriage. He makes me laugh and smile and is always there when I need him. The best advice we ever got before we were married that has kept our marriage going is that marriage isn’t a contract, it’s a covenant. That means it’s not give and take all the time, sometimes it’s give, give, give with nothing in return. The thing is….if you really love each other, you don’t care if you give and don’t get anything back, and you both end up doing it anyway :)ReplyCancel

    • Penelope

      That last part is so beautiful…when you love someone, you don’t look for anything back.

    • Shop with Me Mama (Kim)

      That is right! Love it!

  • Well I haven’t married him, but your list confirms what I’ve suspected: that I’ve got a good thing going on. Lovely post.ReplyCancel

  • Sam

    Very true. It’s easy to forget sometimes…thanks for the reminder.ReplyCancel

  • Shop with Me Mama

    Great tips!! Thanks :)ReplyCancel

  • JulieD

    Great list, Penelope! I really think you have almost all…these points are so important in a good marriage. I would just add trust, if you don’t trust someone, there’s no point.ReplyCancel

  • Mama Mary

    These are important parts of a marriage and sometimes hard to follow through with as the years go by. I am about to celebrate 10 years of marriage and I would like to think we do most of these things.ReplyCancel

  • I think those first two are soooooo key; I know our marriage satisfaction always reflects our communication. If we’re not finding the time to REALLY talk, it’s so easy to fall into a trap of discontent and disconnect.ReplyCancel

  • Dee @ Cocktails with Mom

    Thanks for sharing. Your points were right on point. I personally think laughter and communication keeps up going and of course the kids.ReplyCancel

  • Jennifer

    I definitely need to do some of these more often. oopsReplyCancel

  • This is always a great reminder! Marriage can be hard at times, but it takes two people to work at it to make it good.ReplyCancel

  • Wonderful post!ReplyCancel

  • Maryann

    sounds like my husband and IReplyCancel

  • fikile

    Wise word( i wish my marrige has communication my husband does not communicate even when i try to make a conversation he will just look me once and say nothing,pls help me i dont know what to do.ReplyCancel

  • These are so true! I’m about to get married but we already have some of these qualities since we’ve been together so long.ReplyCancel