Is Bullying Really a Rite of Passage?

Growing up there were always kids who were mean, and kids who were picked on. Sometimes kids who were picked on later became bullies. For some reason, though, growing up, I never heard about ruthless bullying of kids by adults. And I sure didn’t know any children who bullied and got away with it if their parents heard about it. For some reason, it seemed parents in general felt more responsibility for raising decent human beings.

Granted, not all parents are so socially responsible. Some went to the mat to defend their bratty kids, but they were the exception, not the rule. These days it seems most parents allow their kids to do as they please, and they defend them, make excuses for them, even join in. There is a surge of child bullying by adults.

I’m astounded to hear that there are bullying cases all over the country against parents who are picking on the peers of their children! What??? There are parents who standy by, fully supportive of their children caught seriously harming other children (if I got caught harassing another student in school, I got whipped when I got home…where are those parents?). Then there is the mom who is upset that her 19 year old son, who snuck into an elementary school to terrorize children he didn’t know by chasing them and shooting them with a bb gun, was shot by police when he refused to drop his weapon, and instead kept shooting! Her response? He wasn’t using a deadly weapon- sure he was hurting innocent little tots, but it wasn’t deadly. (No wonder he thought being a psycho jackxxx was ok, his mother was a permissive jackxxx.)

The worst, though, was hearing about the mom who helped her daughter cyberbully a neighborhood girl who was a bit on the insecure side, wanted a boyfriend, and felt lonely…driving her to suicide. How does this woman look herself in the mirror?

I hear people say that bullying happens, it’s a rite of passage, it happens to all kids, whether you do it or it’s done to you. But is it really? I have met lots of children who don’t engage in this, who are just plain nice kids, inclusive, happy, and who don’t base their self-esteem on tearing down other children. I’m starting to look cock-eyed at anyone who defends bullies, because it seems to me it isn’t really a necessary part of life, and those who bully usually are not kids or adults that are particularly productive, kind, or even worth having much interaction with.



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  • Shana

    What is even worse is when teachers do it like the one who beat up that 13 year old boy. And people wonder why I want to home school.ReplyCancel

  • Penelope

    Shana, I don't wonder…I told my husband that I can understand people being cautious about where they send their children to be educated now. I plan to send our son to a parochial school with a very small student body and teachers that I personally know at church. Not only do they teach two languages and consistently graduate children that get very high scores on standardized tests, but I'll be able to sleep at night.ReplyCancel

  • *Mirage*

    I totally agree with you. Cruelty is a bad habit, and addiction that grows worse every time it's gotten away with, it is NOT a rite of passage. It's a dangerous and immature behaviour and if not dealt with in childhood, then you see these parents who are STILL doing it and still think it's an acceptable mode of interaction. Very sad!ReplyCancel